Oh Taylor. You were once so cute and innocent. Now look at you – black thigh-high garters, slip dress, Courtney Love rat’s nest hair and gothic black eyeliner. We’ve seen it all before. This is your signature style – how you separate yourself from the Miley’s in the actress turned pop star game. That sneaky little upskirt shot from your live Concert in Carson couldn’t have been an accident. You much know you can’t wear a dress that short on stage and not flash a little panty here and there. I don’t think you care though. I’ll admit, I have an inexplicable distaste for Miley Cyrus. It’s a problem, but for some reason, I like Taylor Momsen. Maybe it’s because she’s doing something different. Maybe it’s because she has attitude. Maybe it’s because she isn’t everywhere like Ms. Cyrus. But please, Taylor. You’re not even seventeen. Put on some damn pants before I have to start having a problem with you too. You don’t have to flash your panties to be a rock star. A little talent helps though. At least you have that.
I’ve made my feelings for Lady Gaga pretty clear. I am totally pro Gaga, but I always tell the truth here. That’s kind of my job. That’s why this post hurts a little to write. Lady Gaga – put on some freaking pants! This boring, worn out, over played no pants thing is just so old now. We’ve seen it all before. We get it. You’re edgy. You’re out there. You have got to be freezing your damn ass off. It’s to the point now that I see a picture of you wearing something normal and I’m more shocked. You’re a talented singer and your songs are catchy as hell. You don’t need all of this anymore. At least, you don’t need to be replaying your own stunts. If you’re running out ideas, hit the town wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I promise you – that will make the news.
Get it? Because her band is called The Pretty Reckless. Yeah, lame, I know. Anyway, moving on. I don’t really know what I think of Taylor Momsen anymore. It seems like every move she makes is premeditated to make her look as bad ass as possible, but the more out there she gets, the more innocent I believe she is. Sure flashing her underage breasts on stage at one of her most recent gigs turned some heads. I, on the other hand, just rolled my eyes and yawned a little. It’s old news. This is what we know about Momsen. She has no problem talking about masturbation and her love for her vibrator. She blames her parents for her behavior because they pushed her into acting. I happen to think that’s probably the truest statement that’s ever come out of her mouth. That said, Taylor – performing here at The Academy in Manchester – is no more of a wild child that her pop culture counterpart, Miley Cyrus. The difference is Taylor wants you to think she’s as bad ass as Miley probably is. She isn’t though. She’s a little girl trying to play ball with the big kids – and she’s striking out. She comes across as a sad girl desperate for attention and I’m guessing that’s really closer to the truth.
I’m sorry but seriously, there is nothing – nothing – sexy about Kathy Griffin. Nothing. I don’t care how nice her body is. Her voice makes me want to stab my own ears out. Her comedy relies on shock with very little humor. And her face. Good Lord, that face! Yeah, she has a hot body but no matter how hard I try to ignore her head and enjoy her body in there pictures from The USO Presents “Vh1 Divas Salute the Troops”, I can’t ignore the fact that I sincerely loathe this woman. I look at her flat tummy, her nice legs and her passable rack and all I can think is that those body parts would look so much better on someone who is less of a complete c-word. You know the word, I’m looking for there. I hate that word, but something the b-word just isn’t enough and with a creature as vile as Kathy Griffin, I’m not sure even the c-word is strong enough.
I’m not sure what the big deal is about these leaked personal photos of award winning porn actress Tori Black. Oh right, she’s super hot and she’s half naked. Sure you can see her completely naked on her website or in any of her movies, but there’s something about the personal nature of these pictures that make them hotter. I won’t deny Tori is probably my favorite porn actress in the business right now and I love her videos, but these pictures are really something else. I think there’s something sexy about seeing a woman who makes her living getting naked in her underwear with all her naughty bits covered. You see more of what Tori’s like at home, and that’s why they’re most appealing.